A Company in Solitude

credits to 

http://serhatdemiroglu.deviantart.com/art/solitude-102106623

Since the beginning of classes, I had been very excited and happy to be with my friends at the campus. I enjoyed my vacation a lot, and I was so glad I had more time working in the ministry during the long break, but indeed I also missed those friends of mine, whom I can only meet whenever I go to school. Yeah, especially my best friend. That's why I loved spending time with them, and I really felt so blessed that I have friends like them who always encourage me and uplift my spirit.

Days passed and schooling became more serious and I had to spend more time doing projects, and assignments, as well as preparing for the reports and demo teaching. I got myself so busy with these stuffs that it became my life...to the point that it's what I only do most of the times other than the household chores at home. I felt sorry for this, so I tried harder to spend more time for God.

Lately, though, I don't know but I felt so down, and it seemed like the world is against me. Problems come, disappointments increase each day, and my expectations fail. I always prepare but my preparations have gone to waste. My friends were there, but it's like the happiness is just temporal. Something was lacking. My heart hurt a lot that I didn't know how to heal it. I've always asked God what to do. I've been trying to manage my time to balance everything, but still this happened.

I realized that during these days only God can help me. Not my friends, nor my family...only God can give me peace and cheer me up. It's only with him that I could cry all my heart and really share my problems and heartaches. I have been dependent with my friends. I've trusted them so much that I forgot that it's still God who is the best friend I could ever have.

I've been so busy, too, I didn't notice I'm already living my life according to my will and God is not glorified with it. No matter how much things I have to accomplish, God is still the first in line. I should let Him be my no.1 priority.

Success and happiness, in a way, can also make you become worse. You become stagnant and contented with your present situation. Feeling that way in the past, I also felt like I wouldn't want to change my life. I almost forgot to strive for my goal to be a virtuous woman. But I realized it should not be that way. As long as a person lives, he should continue to learn and grow to be matured and Christ-like. Sometimes, failures are the real ones which can help you improve.

This time, I'm working on changing my old habits and priorities. Once again, I put God on the top of my list to prioritize and commit my life to glorify Him. Please pray for me.

Have a wonderful day and may God be the number one in our lives!